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Apple Copy: Heartless?

By on March 28, 2011 in advertising copywriter, portland, or, copywriting firm, Portland, OR, freelance copywriter, online copywriter

Okay Apple, why?

Photo of ipad 2

Features! Features! Features!

For people who call themselves copywriters, whether direct response folks, or ad copy people or brand specialists or long form content writers like myself — translating features into user benefits has long been the sine qua non of the craft. It is written on titanium tablets: Thou shalt translate features into benefits!

The question is why? Speaking only for myself here, but I would love to drive a stake into the heart of features. And then I want to pull that stake out, and then drive it into the heart of benefits. This features and benefits approach might be just fine for some products; for digital cameras and water filtration systems and home theater systems and weight loss “solutions”.

Three remote controls make it easier to confuse your in-laws and overnight guests! Our weight-loss solutions deliver tasty and fully prepared, previously digested meals delivered to your door every week! Lose weight without ever leaving the house!

I do suppose that features and benefits have their place. But for my money, I know when I’m in features and benefits land because my head starts to hurt. I’ve left the land of human language and entered some strange universe where people talk funny. And when the headline takes me into features and benefits land right off the bat, the very second you have my attention? Forget it. You’ve bored me. Right out of my gourd.

So what am I carrying on about? The iPad 2, of course.

When a transformation is upon you, such as the arrival of iPad 2, talking features and benefits is like taking the escalator straight down to the bargain basement, where stacks of VCR’s are all tangled up with the rabbit ears and the old telephones.

I know, I know. The second one is faster and thinner than the first one. The second one has two cameras. It’s faster than ever — Dual Core A5 — and has better graphics. It’s so light, gorgeous and powerful, it’s unbelievable. The iPad 2 has multiple big time features. So grand is this thing, they’ve SOLD THEM ALL OUT. Don’t bother running down to the Apple store, because they’re gone. They’ve sold a gazillion already.

Do you think they’ve sold a gazillion because iPad 2 is thinner and faster? Perhaps. But I’ll grant you that that’s only part of the reason. What’s the real reason you ask? Here’s the hidden promise: to own iPad 2 is to feel complete as a human being. For millions of people, to not have iPad 2 means something essential is missing from their lives. And who wants that? Not I. Not thou.

Steve Jobs and iPad2

So why sell the iPad2 with weak willie words like Thinner, Lighter, Faster, Smart Cover, Face Time, 10 Hour Battery? I have no idea, but it’s clear that the corporate messaging for “2″ was thinner, lighter, etc. But is it also possible that the greatest innovator on the planet won’t take a risk with language?

During the Apple Keynote, when this dream product was introduced, Steve Jobs said, “It’s so light, it almost floats.”

It’s a nice enough headline. Safe and straight from the source.

“iPad 2. SO LIGHT IT ALMOST FLOATS.”

Jobs also talked about how the iPad 2 is helping kids with autism and, that it helps physicians spend more time with patients. During the video that’s posted on the Apple website, one of their software guys says that iPad 2 is “ridiculously fun.” Of course it is. It’s so much fun it’s practically insane.

But is that what Apple says on their website? No, they’re talking thin, fast and battery power. The iPad is the fastest growing product in history. Over 15 million sold and counting. I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, “Richard, the copy hardly matters. The thing sells itself, dude.” Maybe so. But here’s the thing. Apple takes huge risks. They live to be on the very edge of the leading edge. They innovate like no one else. They act like no one else. They make beautiful like no one else.

But their language? They sound like everyone else.

Their language — at least this time out anyway — is boring and doesn’t speak to, doesn’t capture, the core “revolutionary magic” that is at the heart of this new Apple experience. I know they’re beyond smart over there in Cupertino. But where’s the heart? Where’s the sense of play?

So for what it’s worth, here’s my take below. In the comments section, tell me your favorite and give it a shot yourself. Let me know what you come up with.

______________________________________________

1.

ipad2Remember Where You Were When Everything Changed?

iPad 2

Life-changing. Heart-pounding. Magic.

___________________________________________

2.

ipad2

Head and Heart. Together at Last.

iPad 2

Follow your heart. Or, follow your head.

___________________________________________

3.

ipad2

Hip Hop, Be Bop, Doo Wop, Rag

iPad 2

Live. Write. Play.

___________________________________________

4.

ipad2

One Small Step for Pam, a Giant Leap for Pam’s Mom.

iPad 2

Landing everywhere.

___________________________________________

5.

ipad2

You Complete Me. iComplete You.

iPad 2

Come to the nearest Apple store for a look see.

___________________________________________

6.

ipad2Fulfillment.

And then some.

iPad 2

___________________________________________



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Your Website Considered

By on September 2, 2010 in advertising copywriter, portland, or, copywriting firm, Portland, OR, freelance copywriter, internet marketing, oregon copywriter, web content writer, Portland, OR, website copywriting, website copywriting firm Portland, OR

Your Website: First Chance to Make a Lasting Impression

As a business owner, or marketer, you are intimately concerned with the decisions that other people make. Your principal goal is to affect those decisions and to persuade people to choose you over the other guys. As you might expect, there is both art and science involved in the art of persuasion.
In today’s column, I’ll discuss a few ideas that might help you think differently about how your home page, and your website in general can help or hinder these decisions.

Take a Customer-Focused Approach
The words you use on your website communicate to the visitor what your focus is. If your home page blasts a 72-point headline that says, “We’re the Number One Interior Design Firm in the Northeast,” then it is very clear where your focus is. It’s on yourself and your amazing number oneness.

In this instance, you are “marketing” to people, which means you are not having a conversation with them. And all marketing is conversation, especially these days. And not to put too fine a point on it, but who cares if you are No. 1? In certain marketing circles, this is referred to as the dinner party problem. Who would you rather meet at a dinner party? The person who can only talk about himself? Mr. “I’m Numero Uno?” Or, the person who is genuinely interested and curious about you?

A customer focused approach means that the aim and thrust of your site is less about how great you are and more about helping your customer/visitor easily learn, do, achieve what they set out to learn, do or achieve. Minus the chest thumping.

Language and the Gobbledygook Manifesto
A customer-focused approach goes a little deeper than what I’ve outlined above. A customer-focused approach avoids what David Meerman Scott calls, “gobbledygook.” In the Gobbledygook Manifesto, Scott identifies meaningless phrases like cutting-edge, market leading or my personal favorite, solutions.

Scott has said gobbledygook is a problem because these words have lost their meaning. He’s right about that.

But I think it’s more than that. Gobbledygook is a problem because it leads with your language and your point of view instead of your customer’s language and point of view. This kind of language puts a wall up between you and your visitor.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say you and I meet at a dinner party. I ask you what you do for a living. You look me right in the eye and say, “Bay state interior design is a leading provider of interior design solutions for residential, business and government environments.” I would look for another drink. Wouldn’t you?

But what if you said, “Thanks for asking. Our company does interior design. We focus on sustainable materials and ergonomically correct workspaces. We’ve got quite a few residential clients, quite a few in business and government, too. We’re all about helping people create comfortable and productive workspaces.”

A Marketing Voice versus A Human Voice
That first voice is a deadly marketing voice and, sad to say, it is all over the Internet. The second is a human voice, and a human voice is the one that connects. It’s that voice, true and authentic, that signals a customer-focused mindset. It is that voice you need to get onto your website.

P.S.
Gerry McGovern is a highly sought after web content specialist based in the UK. He’s written a new book, The Stranger’s Long Neck that outlines his views on how people use websites. Mr. McGovern also puts out a weekly newsletter that I highly recommend for anyone who has responsibility for an organization website. Just click his name to get to the subscription page.

Next week: Cognitive Fluency. What it is and why it matters.

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